Questions:::

I have always been taught you have one life, one chance, and that then you either go to heaven or hades in this afterlife. I'm looking for a religion that embraces life's spirituality and celebrate life more-so than death, and in miracles that are more based on...the spirit of nature, not faith alone in one God. When people recite "I believe in one God etc." to me it sounds like indoctrination of beliefs. My father explains to me that it was in part created in the restorative movement when other Churches broke away, so as to compare it to say a Southern Baptist who can sin and sin again and is baptized, we believe we are only baptized at birth and go to confession when we sin, to a male priest. I wish the church were different, the songs seem so melancholy are grandiose, here we are...altogether in this one room and then we're praying to the Christ and yet, do those who pray really believe it?

My father is one example of someone who really doesn't take it all to heart. His mom is from italy and grew up Roman Catholic, so its to him a tradition. He likes the community and takes nothing literally but metaphorically. I think he might be one of the few? Or do more Christians take it metaphorically. I know everyone takes the word differently, so why even have this man telling you how it works?

I'd rather not be so pious and just read the bible myself. I love the psalms, although albeit some stuff in the bible isn't worded the way you would perceive Christianity. Then again, paganism doesn't scare me...I think I mentioned that, the fear of paganism is that I am somehow destroying my faith in God. I fear, even my family says things like "Don't mess with the voodoo" or that was something my great grandmother said. I for sure don't "mess" with voodoo. I'm pretty careful with it right now.

I have this sort of thing ingrained in me as well as Christianity, and that's learning about the Burning Times, and all the things done for sake of good in the name of Christianity. Not to say that it hasn't been that way with other religions. Hinduism still had the Caste system, where a peasant was basically the "untouchables" and were dirty and no one could touch them....so I know all religions have their downfalls. In fact, I may have labeled this "Fear of a religion deemed satanic by Christianity..."

I have joined a Christian forum to further my questions. One member actually brought up this idea that the reason that the pagans were being persecuted was because they were mingling with Satan, and that we had to be purified and cleansed of their evil deeds. People actually believe that, I mean I am sure there are many who do....but what if person practicing Witchcraft said that same thing about a Christian, that the Pagans were there first, and they were practicing dark magick as self defense against the Christian oppression and leaders. They wouldn't be treated well and would be shunned much so by whoever they said Well, here is a list of reasons why I feel like I am leaving the Catholic Church: 1. I think that women should be able to be Priests or Priestesses 2. I believe in a female and male counterpart to the God/ess aspect as well 3. Christ may have been a prophet, and he was there not to spread dogma...I believe 4. I believe all religions hold truth, as well as prayer and positive thinking 5. I believe in reincarnation because I chose this path and believe everyone has an individual choice 6. I believe in ghosts, ancestor spirits, and that we can communicate with them 7. I believe in angels as well as this idea that religion manifests over time, as collective thoughts 8. I also beleive in the subtle vibrations of the universe, which goes deeper than anything else 9. I believe to connect to the subtle hints of the universe, we must awaken our natural instincts 10. My last thing is, no one is a sinner, no one is impure and should be entirely shunned, but helped. I don't support the death penalty, I don't support torture, nor war, and I am a pacifist Finally, We cannot say "For our military to continue doing acts of peace" that doesn't make sense to me If what they are doing is killing people and suppressing a third world nation. That's all of my politics that I'm bringing into this.

As you can see I hold many convictions, some are in fact out of anger at what I've seen happen over the years. This is not against the Church, but why I am tired of being a Catholic as I feel going to Church has not brought me closer to God, only recently, I felt when I was in Church his presence...but all the singing and ritual, the talking and directions, it all sort of distracted from the feeling of his presence.... Maybe a part of me has always been a Christian, I believe we carry down some traits of our ancestors through our genes as well as subtle connections. I have very rich French Ancestors: Ferdinand De Lesseps http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferdinand_de_Lesseps A man who presented the statue of liberty, but also on my dad's side is Irish/Italian. My grandfather, Irish ancestors, traveled the countryside spreading folk music. So, I have a lot of different parts in me...that call me in different directions.